Curveballs into Blessings

Oftentimes, life throws you proverbial curveballs. Sometimes, we win some and sometimes we lose some.

As a young boy, my dad and I would go in the backyard after he got home from a hard day’s work at the shipyard. I vividly remember coming home from school and being so eager for him to teach me how to pitch each day behind our brick rancher under the maple tree. We would play pitch and catch or he would teach me how to hit until it was time to eat dinner. I was the oldest of three strong boys in our home and our family spent so much of our precious time at the ball field when we were younger making so many great memories. My mom was always my biggest cheerleader and my dad was always the best ballplayer I ever knew.

I was always so enamored as I watched him play softball when I was younger and I would eventually have the privilege to play on some of the same softball teams for several years. When I was younger, he always coached me but the problem was I didn’t always listen as well as I should have. I should have listened more and I’m still figuring that out each day as I get older. Nonetheless, we have so many great memories to look back and reminisce on.

One day, I was finally old enough in the backyard to learn how to throw a curveball. My dad throws left-handed and I throw right-handed so everything was backwards. This didn’t cause any problems in baseball, but it sure does when he’s telling me directions. That’s a story for another day though so back to the curveball story. Once I learned the curveball to go along with the fastball and eventually another pitch or two, I would do alright in baseball going on to play in middle school, high school and college.

One ballgame, I was called in from the bullpen to relieve Chris against Chowan University. He had pitched the best game I have ever seen him pitch and I was so happy for him. I got on the mound and warmed up hoping to get Chris and the team the win for us to become the tournament champions.

However, get ready for it because here comes one of the curveballs in my life. The catcher, Heath, looked so far away from the pitcher’s mound that day and that’s never a good sign when you’re a pitcher. The pitcher’s mound and home plate are always the same distance but it appeared much further that day for some reason. Chris is a little taller than me and lefthanded so his stride is longer and was off center to where I was landing as well. Enough excuses. As I was warming up, I was feeling confident that I could overcome these obstacles along with the bases loaded jam we were in. Unfortunately, I don’t remember the batter’s name but we had played Chowan so many times while I was at Christopher Newport College (not Christopher Newport University) and The Apprentice School that I am sure we had probably faced each other many times before. With a 2-2 count, I threw a curveball that I thought was a strike. However, the umpire called it a ball for a 3-2 count. So now, it’s 3-2 with the bases loaded and I have to throw a strike. I grooved a pitch right down the middle, some call it Broadway, and he hit it over the fence for a walk-off grand slam. Well that wasn’t a proverbial curveball for me but a real curveball that got me that day for sure.

The proverbial curveballs that I am talking about today are the life-altering and life-changing curveballs. It's what we do with those curveballs that defines us. You see we all have a plan on how we want a meal, conversation, meeting, appointment, job, interview, vacation, day, week, month, year, retirement, relationship, etc. to go. You get the picture, we all have a plan with a desired outcome that we want to see come to fruition.

My wife, Stephanie, and I decided with my mom & dad to build a multi-generational home. When we started building our new home in 2019, my mom had a medical setback. At the time, my mom and dad had moved into our home since we were able to sell the first home I had built for them so quickly. We let them have our primary bedroom and we moved upstairs, which was the most obvious choice. Fortunately, this particular curveball of life wasn’t as bad as it could have been and the blessing was that my parents were in our home so we were able to help my mom & dad through this difficult time. Stephanie is a tender-hearted, loving and nurturing granddaughter, daughter, wife, mother and grandmother so it really takes the pressure off me.

Shortly after my mom’s setback, COVID was starting to just make it into the news. Goodness gracious, are you kidding me, here comes another curveball. Our new home was expected to be ready in May of 2020 but I remember in March of 2020 not knowing if we would be able to finish our new home or if we would even be here as it was such an uncertain time for everyone.

Well Hallelujah, on May 15, 2020, we moved in. Another blessing was being in a multi- generational home with my mom & dad during COVID. Stephanie works from home so that was another blessing that we were able to help with my parents get through COVID.

It’s almost 6 years later and everyone is doing great and we’re enjoying our home. It’s been a home of immense pleasure, joy and comfort for our family over the years. It's been a blessing for us to share a home with our parents. As they told me when I was younger, they brought me into this world and they can take me out of this world. Just kidding, I think I may have told that to my kids when they were younger and acting up. This home has definitely been a blessing and will continue to be a blessing for years to come.

It went so well with my mom & dad, we decided to do it again with Stephanie’s parents. We were able to purchase the lot next to ours and build Stephanie’s mom & dad a home so we could get them close as they grow older. You see, we’re all aging in place whether we want to admit it or even if we like it or not. Well here comes another curveball. This time, Stephanie’s mom had a medical setback and this time the blessing is that they were already moved into our home and Stephanie still works from home. Stephanie is a central figure in our home and we love her so very much. Fortunately, Stephanie was able to help her dad with her mom getting her back to her feet while I was next door building their new home. The new home was finished in January of 2024, which happened to be the same day that my father-in-law fell in our driveway with Stephanie’s mom in the car getting ready to head to her doctor’s appointment. I’m sure you’re thinking it’s another curveball in our lives and of course you are correct, it’s another curveball. The day their home was finished and we were preparing to move them that weekend, my father-in-law broke his hip. Needless to say, they didn’t move in that day and he was in surgery and rehab for a while.

Well the blessing is that they moved in a couple of months later next door to us and we’re always close by. We ate dinner with them last night and Stephanie is over there right now checking on them as she does every day. By the way, happy 29th anniversary, Stephanie!

Curveballs are everywhere but it’s how you handle them when faced with adversity, poor planning or undesired outcomes that matters the most. What’s really important in your life? Are you putting off decisions because it’s easier to wait? Did you recently get pitched a curveball? I know you’ve had as many curveballs in your life as I have or the person sitting next to you but it’s life. We have to get back up, dust ourselves off, get back into the box and ready for our next pitch as quickly as possible. Don’t mope around and think there’s no hope. Just look around, there are blessings everywhere and as long as we have breath, we have hope. Just keep in the back of your mind that the next pitch might be right down the middle and you hit it out of the park for a walk-off grand slam to win your team the championship.